81 Days with the Tao: Verse 8

This is one of my favorite passages in the Tao Te Ching. It speaks to me of humility, contentment with what is, and authenticity.

“In dwelling, live close to the ground.

In thinking, keep to the simple.

In conflict, be fair and generous.

In governing, don’t try to control.

In work, do what you enjoy.

In family life, be completely present.”

—Stephen Mitchell, Tao Te Ching, Harper Perennial Modern Classics, 1988

Unpacking it, line by line—

Living close to the ground represents humility: living simply, without excess, with stability, in harmony with nature.

Keeping thinking simple is a little harder to interpret. To me, it means not getting lost in complicated, convoluted thought patterns, but thinking and expressing myself in a straightforward, common-sense way.

In conflict? I notice that conflict is assumed to be normal and expected, rather than abnormal and something to avoid. In it, I’m asked to be generous, give the other person the benefit of the doubt, assume the best of my opponent, and treat them with respect.

In governing? Let’s change that to leadership in any form or situation. In leadership, don’t try to control. I notice that it doesn’t say, “don’t control,” but “don’t try to control.” Control is an impossible illusion we/I constantly try to achieve. So, trust people to be reasonable and honorable; give guidance and support, but believe they will come up with a workable solution they can buy into freely.

In work, do what you enjoy, not what makes the most money, brings the most fame, or gives the most power, and certainly not something that oppresses or harms others and the earth. Do what you enjoy, what makes you happy, and it will be easy to sustain.

Be present to those you love. Your presence is the best gift you can give anyone and anything. Pay attention, look and listen deeply.

All of this is such simple but profound advice: embody humility, simplicity, generosity, trust, happiness, and presence.

Lao Tzu sums it up with “content to be simply yourself…everybody will respect you.” Here again is a koan or puzzle in which one thing, counter-intuitively, contains or achieves another. In this case, contentment and simple authenticity gain universal respect.

While contentment grows as I age, authenticity isn’t so simple, at least not for me. How about you? Does verse eight have some clues to achieving it?

81 Days with the Tao: Verse 7

“The Master stays behind;

that is why she is ahead.

She is detached from all things;

that is why she is one with them.

Because she has let go of herself,

she is perfectly fulfilled.”

—Stephen Mitchell, Tao Te Ching, Harper Perennial Modern

Classics, 1988

These three koans, or puzzles, represent for me the three virtues of humility, detachment, and selflessness. The puzzle lies in how one thing can achieve, or hold within itself, its opposite.

Humility achieves honor. The one who stays behind somehow ends up ahead. The last shall be first (Matthew 20:16).

Detachment achieves oneness. Not clinging makes possible the union so deeply longed for and cherished.

And letting go achieves perfect fulfillment. One must lose one’s life to gain it. (Matthew 10:39, Matthew 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, John 12:25)

We cannot explain why these riddles are true, but many traditions express them as ancient wisdom, and deep within ourselves we know they are so. Take, for example, the last one: “Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled.”  Letting go of the ego self—the self conditioned by social norms and others’ expectations—reveals the true self: at ease, enough, contented, and happy.

As I get older and look death in the face, I long for the ability to let go of myself, to be who I truly am in the days or years remaining to me. I yearn to be effortlessly and perfectly real. Yet, I suspect that the moment of perfect fulfillment comes at death, when I must let go completely and finally.